


I Love All That I Know and All That I Do Not

by GaHoolianGirl



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Established Relationship, Flirting, Idiots in Love, M/M, Nor do I care they just needed to be gazing at the stars alone, Not really in this fic but they're just idiots in love generally, Spock rationalizes how much he loves Kirk like a dork, Star Gazing, Tenderness, They're on an observation deck idk if the og Enterprise has one, how is that not a tag???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: "The stars are lovely, wouldn't you say Mr. Spock?"The tactic Kirk was employing was not unfamiliar to Spock, even if the other man did not do it consciously. From his limited experience engaging in and observing human courtships, expressing admiration for the scenery was considered a safe introductory topic, because if your partner willing came to the location with you, they are likely to enjoy it as well. It was a "classic", so to speak."They do hold much value."A deliberately vague statement on his part; it could be interpreted as purely scientific interest, an acknowledgment of what could be learned. But a discerning individual, who knew Spock like he scarcely knew himself, could understand that it was an affirmative answer to the question he was asked.James Kirk was the only man of that description.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 9
Kudos: 89





	I Love All That I Know and All That I Do Not

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have much to say I watched some Star Trek, was blown over by the strength of love, friendship or otherwise (it's very much _otherwise_ here lol) and had to write something stat.

"The stars are lovely, wouldn't you say Mr. Spock?"

The tactic Kirk was employing was not unfamiliar to Spock, even if the other man did not do it consciously. From his limited experience engaging in and observing human courtships, expressing admiration for the scenery was considered a safe introductory topic, because if your partner willing came to the location with you, they are likely to enjoy it as well. It was a "classic", so to speak.

"They do hold much value."

A deliberately vague statement on his part; it could be interpreted as purely scientific interest, an acknowledgment of what could be learned. But a discerning individual, who knew Spock like he scarcely knew himself, could understand that it was an affirmative answer to the question he was asked.

James Kirk was the only man of that description.

The observation deck they stood in (posed stiffly, formally, like always, but with so little distance between them that their elbows would brush at any sudden movements) was lit only by the glow of the functionally infinite space stretching our before them, as was the intent, but even in the suboptimal lighting Spock could see the glowing smile directed at him out of the corner of his eye.

The quirk upwards of his own lips was instinctual, and it would be illogical to punish himself for an involuntary physical response. If it happened to please the man whose affections he sought, then it was simply a convenient coincidence.

"Never has there been a truer statement- allow me my hyperbole, Spock," he added, with notable mirth before he even finished, wisely anticipating the correction that would follow. Content in both being so understood and having his point made for him, Spock was quiet, and allowed Kirk to continue.

Smiling at this implicit permission, Kirk reached out to touch a hand lightly against the large window, "If you would allow me, I would like to tell you my theory as to why humans are so fascinated by the stars, even long before the days we could sail them as the open sea."

Spock nodded, for the logical reason that it would be useful knowledge to have to further his understanding of humans, and for the illogical reason that he simply enjoyed to hear his companion speak, "Of course."

"Thank you. As you likely well know, we humans are enamoured with what we cannot have. If it is beyond our grasp, we reach for it, good or ill, and in time we nearly always get it. Often, if not most, times, that leads to moving onto the next flight of fancy. But the stars, space?" 

The gaze with which Kirk looked out at the view before them, an ebony abyss dotted with the shadows of distant stars, was full of both longing and contentment, a combination which Spock desired he understood less, "We found it, but we also haven't _stopped_ finding it. There is so much we may never understand, in the eternal vastness of the universe."

Spock raised an eyebrow in a way he was self aware enough to know was characteristic of him, "You mean it is the hunt for knowledge that compels you?"

Kirk laughed, turning to look at the man next to him "A logical conclusion, of course, Spock. Which means that it can't be what I'm talking about, because the subject in question is humanity. What I'm referring to is the allure of the _unknowable._ Humanity loves a good mystery, and it's all the more fun if you know that you won't be the one to find the answer, but you can still contribute one small clue to whoever someday does."

"I cannot say I relate in any meaningful way," a small lie (it could be argued it was not, as he was simply defining "meaningful" in a specific manner), for it was the embrace of feeling and life's necessary irrationalities that drew Spock to Kirk, "But I do understand the reasoning, as illogical as it is."

"I mean no disrespect when I say that, that response was entirely expected, Spock," Kirk replied with restrained laughter lacing each word, "It is a bit on the abstract side, I will grant you that. A desire to love and seek what we can't fully comprehend, not only to know more but also because we like not knowing? I even concede it makes little sense."

An arm brushed Spock's, purposely unsubtle, and a burst of warmth and feeling shot through his body which had little to do with telepathy. It took several, slow seconds for him to calm his mind enough to look Kirk in the eye, and his preparations were the correct choice, as he was being looked at with an expression that not even the most stoic of Vulcans could label as anything but pure adoration.

"However, I can safely say I understand the feeling better than most," the grazing arm became a hand gripping his forearm, firmly but loose enough to be shrugged off with ease, "Wanting to fill in your gaps in knowledge, yet being drawn in by the fact that you'll spend your whole life doing just that..."

Spock unconsciously (another manipulated fact) gradually leaned forward with each word, and Kirk took this opportunity to reach his neck up ever so slightly and place a kiss on his beloved's jaw. If Spock were a man for metaphor, he would say he felt the obscuring curtain be pulled back from the illusion of nonspecificity, "In the end it is not what I understand about you which is my reward, but you yourself. For as long as I pursue my fruitless quest for knowing what can't be known about you, I will be _with_ you."

The reply Spock gave was all too quick and emotional and unguarded, but he now found himself in the only space where he felt safe to be just that, even if only for a short while, "If it will keep you by my side, I will endeavor to ensure you never run out of questions to pursue."

Kirk laughed, now kissing the side of Spock's mouth, "Don't worry, I've made sure that some of them are by design without answer. For example, how did you get to be so handsome?"

"Genetically speaking-"

More laughter, "Another time, perhaps. Allow me this mystery a little longer?"

Spock slipped his hand into one of Kirk's, interlocking their fingers in a distinctly human hand-hold, but lowering his mental shields to allow a minuscule surge of telepathic communication through the skin, mimicking the Vulcan equivalent. Something that, logically, someone with his dual heritage would think to do.

"As you wish," _For as long as you wish,_ he did not speak the continuation for he did not have to, it was heard in Kirk's very mind. His captain's expression as the sort he reserved only for lovers, but he was not flattering himself when he said it was much stronger than for others- he quite literally felt the truth of his belief through their connected hands.

Kirk went in for a kiss, muttering softly, "The stars may be be lovely, Mr. Spock, but they are nothing compared to yourself," before their lips connected. 

Part of Spock wished to comment on the irrationality of the statement, but he had allowed his lover one fanciful concession that evening, so he thought as he pressed back into the kiss, _One more would not be remiss._ •

**Author's Note:**

> Spock is a delight to write, with his confliction between expressing his emotions and not, and the ways he'll rationalize his emotions, genuinely and also in a sassy "knows it's just an excuse" way.


End file.
